Words are the color of life.
A football team can't run a simple play without huddling up and exchanging words. All the team members run out, they get into their huddle around the quarterback, and they key in on what the quarterback is saying. They don't just listen for what play he calls. They're affected by his cadence, by how he's coming off, by whether his tone is positive or negative. They're going to feed off all that.
Likewise, everyone in your life will feed off the power of your words. And the most important person in the world who will feed off your words is you.
Remember, words aren't just what comes out of your mouth. They're what you think - your active thoughts. People are constantly thinking about yesterday, today, tomorrow, what happened five years ago, what am I going to buy, what am I going to eat, I can't believe he said that or she said that...
Words are constantly rolling like credits down the screen of your mind, and whatever those words say, your subconscious attaches to it and you begin to move towards that. And that becomes your life. If it's negative, your life will become negative. If it's predominantly positive, your life will become positive. You can start to overcome the challenges of your life by rephrasing what you say to yourself.
The number one word you can replace is "problem." Try replacing it with the word "challenge." This word is an incredible replacement for something that would otherwise drag you down like an anchor.
Say the following out loud, and really listen to the words:
"I have a major problem."
"I have a challenge."
Do you hear the difference? Did you notice how the word "challenge" sounds like something that you can work on? Something that isn't the end of the world? We don't have a major problem; we only have a challenge.
The next time you're confronted with something, try calling it a challenge instead of a problem, and see if it doesn't make a difference in how you feel about things. Do you find yourself better able to respond instead of simply feeling overwhelmed?
Another word you can use is the word "situation."
"We have a little bit of a situation on our hands."
"This situation concerns me, but it can be fixed."
By substituting the word "situation", you replace the sting of the word "problem."
Try doing this with other negative words, like "hard" or "not good" or "never." You can replace any and all the negative words with something less intimidating and more manageable.
Other phrases that I like to use:
"This is what we're going to do."
"I can; I will."
"That's very interesting."
When somebody approaches me and they say something like, "Chris, we have a problem! Oh my goodness, I can't believe it! Somebody misplaced some money, or a file, or a record that we need right now!" I will automatically respond with, "That's interesting. It seems like we have a little bit of a challenge here. All right. How do we fix this?"
Do you see what I've done? I've included everyone else in fixing the situation. I've told myself that it's only a challenge, not the end of the world. My brain hears a message that sounds positive, and it goes to work to figure out how to respond in a constructive way.
Compare this to most people's usual response: "This is a real problem! This isn't good at all! I can't believe you guys did this! Things are really getting out of hand!"
Do you see how the two responses are worlds apart? But your brain will link to either one just as readily. So it pays to train yourself to react in a more positive way.
Stay clear of words like:
• "problem"
• "hard"
• "not good"
• "bad"
• "can't"
• "won't"
• "I wish"
• "I won't"
• "They did this or they did that"
Replace them with:
• "challenge"
• "This is what we're going to do"
• "I can"
• "I will"
• "This is interesting"
• "We have a situation on our hands"
Remember how powerful words are. Don't ever forget it. And please re-read this chapter if you don't understand it.
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