Too many people choose goals based on what others think. Instead, think about what you really care about, and set meaningful goals to accomplish what matters to you.
Gary left the military after twenty years of service as a marine pilot. His military friends were surprised that he would leave with the possibility of promotion dangling in front of him. How could he do this? What was wrong with him? His friends didn't quite say this to him, but that is what they wanted to know.
Gary had an answer. "Holding the highest rank has never been my dream," he said. "It might be your dream, and that's fine, but it isn't mine."
Gary's dream was to serve his country by serving children. He offered his services to the local school district, and in a matter of a few years was asked to run a new and rigorous high school academic program. Learning, according to Gary, is a lot like flying.
"You have your hands on the controls, you have the power to excel. It's all within your hands." Teaching is, for him, a dream come true, a dream that could never have come true if Gary had worried about what other people thought he should do.
People do not have to succeed in absolutely everything they do to feel happy. But, people do have to believe they have maintained control over their own life. In fact, those who feel that
they were responsible for their own position and decisions express one-third more life satisfaction than those who do not.
Kean, Van Zandt, and Miller 1996
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