A classmate at your high school reunion is richer, prettier, smarter, than everybody else. Does it matter? No. Your life is shaped more by your everyday relationships than by the lives of acquaintances you see only rarely.
Two friends from high school, Ken and Alan, went off to college and on to separate careers. Alan became a social worker, helping distressed families. Ken became a computer consultant, founded his own company, and became super-rich.
Alan loved his job and felt great about the impact he was able to make on the families he worked with. But with Ken in the news—newspapers covering his company's success and his growing fortune—Alan began to question his choices.
How could someone he know be so rich while he lived such a modest life? Why didn't he have Ken's success?
The truth is, Alan didn't want Ken's success. He was never interested in dedicating his life to a corporation, and he didn't spend his days dreaming of riches. He wanted to help people, and he was helping people. His jealousy of Ken's life faded away as he looked at the smiling faces of the children he helped every day.
Sometimes we look at what other people have and we want that instead of thinking about what really and truly motivates us, what we really and truly want and need. Don't take someone else's accomplishment as evidence that you are doing anything wrong.
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Satisfaction with life was found to be related to experiences with family and friends—those with regular participation in one's life—and to be unrelated to those with whom contact is brief or irregular.Hong and Duff 1997
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