Problems can appear to be unsolvable. We are social creatures who need to discuss our problems with others, whether it be those who care about us most or those who have faced the same problems we have. When we are alone, problems fester. By sharing, we can gain perspective and find solutions.
It is a familiar story that the folks at Credit Counseling hear all too often. It goes like this: Sam missed a mortgage payment. Then he missed a second. Then he missed a third. Then the
bank came and took his house away. When he missed the first payment, all kinds of things could
have been done. Arrangements could have been made that would have protected Sam and his house. Sam had friends who knew the rules, who could have helped. Sam didn't ask. He was embarrassed. He got himself into trouble, and he was going to get himself out of trouble.
Problem was, Sam didn't know how to get himself out of trouble. He didn't know what to do, and as days passed and his situation grew more grave, Sam only became more upset, more embarrassed. As a consequence, he isolated himself even more from his friends. Before they knew what hit Sam, he was out the door. Credit Counseling's counselors tell people, "The only
thing that hiding your problems accomplishes is making sure no one helps you with them."
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An experiment was conducted with a group of women having low life satisfaction. Some of the women were introduced to others who shared their situation, and some of the women were left on their own to deal with their concerns. Those who interacted with others saw a 55 percent reduction in their concerns over time, while those who were left on their own showed no improvement.
Hunter and Liao 1995
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