and family.
Even if you are right, there is nothing to be gained from letting yourself become adversarial with your loved ones. Remember how much more important these people are to you than is the issue you are talking about.
It would be great to always be right, wouldn't it?
Adam is always right. At least, he thinks so. Whether it's a matter of a trivia question or the best way to hang wallpaper, Adam knows the answer. When his family challenges him on some point, any point, Adam launches an inquest. He asks people to tell him why they disagree, and then he tries to catch them in an inconsistency. His follow-up questions are like those used by a lawyer trying to get an unreliable witness to admit his faults.
Adam almost always wins. He almost always gets a concession from his witness. The problem is, Adam's witness is not a criminal in a courtroom but a friend or loved one who holds a different opinion. Some of his friends have concluded it's just not worth disagreeing with Adam, and others have concluded it's not even worth talking to Adam, since you never know when a topic will lead to a controversy. Adam wins all the little battles, but he loses the metaphorical war. He loses the opportunity to spend enjoyable time with those he cares about.
Prevalent criticism within relationships reduces happiness up to one-third.
O'Connor 1995
0 comments:
Post a Comment